What To Do

Ok, well it's been a week since I have written anything, and nothing has changed. Actually, it's probably gotten worse. The kids are at Dick's this week for winter break. I went to mom's for a couple of days AFTER I worked for Rick. I know, I'm stupid because he can't understand why I can't just "help him out". After I have refused to do anything else for him.. Working events some 100 miles away for NOTHING, he actually had the balls to tell me that I had to get child support from Dick..I know that Dick hasn't paid anything in almost a month, but I have contacted everyone that I can contact and have been told that I have to wait until his hasn't paid for a complete month. Of course I told Rick that I didn't understand how he can continue to work and not get paid... He actually told me that it was an "investment in the future and that he didn't expect me to understand". After a fight and me trying to explain to him that he was going to lose his house, and that everything was going to start getting shut off (the water was turned off for a little while on Tuesday) he said that if my ex husband would pay child support---I then said that if he would get off his ass and get a job that paid.. Needless to say he hung up on me. I have called my friend in real estate and he has a house that he owns that he will rent to me. It's 20 minutes away from the kids school (out of district), and it's a dump.. but I don't have any other options.. I could go "home" but I want my kids to finish school where they are and not have to change, plus I'm not sure that I could handle living with who I would have to live with. PLUS I wouldn't and I'm not going to have a car.. I just don't know what to do. I don't have a job....I just can't keep taking this. Oh, and he has the money to pay for HIS kids to go to private school but he bitches about me spending 160.00 at walmart on an oil change, and stuff for HIS event that I worked. He is a miserable person and I can't change him or make him happy. He deserves to be alone. I just wish that I felt the same lack of love and caring for him as I did for Dick at the end. There are times that I wish that I would have just stayed with Dick. I mean I lived in a home that I owned that I LOVED, my kids were happy and settled and he wasn't even anywhere close to the asswhole that Rick is... If only I had 2 or 3 thousand dollars, then I could get the hell out of here and more importantly get my kids out of here.... I will just have to be strong and stay quiet.. until I can get money together, and the house that my friend has gets ready to move in. There is a lot of work that has to be done, so hopefully I will get a job by then and that move will only be temporary.. I just don't know. Well, got to go-I get to watch HIS kids tonight-AWESOME.. So looking forward to that! My babies will be here Sunday (well, I'll have to go half way and get them). It's just the same stuff every day.. I keep wanting to wake up and be happy and taken care of but I guess I am the only one that can do those things. Just don't know how they are possible... We'll see